so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
