so explain again why im purple
no
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
