woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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