this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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