let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
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The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
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my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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