Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
