Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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