I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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