happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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