I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
