So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
