This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
