I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
