i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
