I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
