Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize