I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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