Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
should my penis look like a turkey
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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