My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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