I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
