I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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