he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
