I'm really into asian looking animals
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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