dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
