oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
