these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
