I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
