You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
