I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
