took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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