He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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