Where are you?
In a non slutty way
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
