He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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