I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
