***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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