Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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