You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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