Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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