I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
