Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
