Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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