It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
