He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We were destined to go to rehab together
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
