We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
