lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize