handjob tips. give me some.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
