I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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