Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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