Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Im just a social blackout drinker.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
