pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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