a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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