She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize