I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
