Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
