I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
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shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
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I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it