just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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