He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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