Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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