Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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