She's JV to your varsity
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
