I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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