Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
