This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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