Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize