I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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