Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
