Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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