I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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