By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize