After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
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Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
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Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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