She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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