You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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