All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize